Packing My Room

I spent the whole of yesterday packing my room.

And ended up throwing away more than half my room.

It was almost like watching my whole life flash before my eyes. I strongly recommend this trip down memory lane for all. But for it to be most effective you must not have packed your room for the past 5 years. And you must have the whole day free and sprawling before you.

Of all the things that I packed, these are some of the more memorable ones..

1) I threw away 4 big fat black garbage bags worth of notes. When I was going through the pile I was genuinely amazed. Did I really read these? Every single page? Did I really know what on earth I was reading? It's amazing. Education must be one of the greatest reasons why we're chopping down all the trees out there.

2) I came across these essays that I'd written when I was in University. There was this one about whether Singapore should join the International Criminal Court and ratify the treaty. The implications it would have on Singapore's international legal relations and diplomacy. It was a 15 paged essay and it was most clever! Got an A+ and a comment from lecturer Simon Tay (former NMP) saying 'top of the pile!' I think I used to be alot cleverer than I am today.

3) There was also this article that I'd written and it was published in the Australian Law Student's Association magazine. I did not even remember writing such a thing. But it's pretty amazing to think I was a contributor to an Australian Law Students' magazine. And an Australian friend, whom I do not remember knowing, actually took the trouble to post the magazine to me. I was telling my mom about it and she was saying I have to keep it to show my children next time. Haha.

4) I had bags and bags of cards and letters my friends had sent me through the years. Birthday cards, christmas cards, letters from friends who were studying overseas and memories of friends who have since drifted away just overwhelmed me. Wow this person actually depended on me emotionally for support and found it many years ago. Wow there's this friend who faithfully sent me birthday cards, christmas cards and even all the best for exams cards regularly for several years. Was I as faithful a friend? Doubt it. There was this other friend who regularly wrote letters to me and I suppose I wrote back. Even though we could just pick up the phone and call each other. But writing was so much more fun. Memories, memories, memories...

5) I had this huge box of accessories, comprising earrings, rings, more earrings more rings. All fashion faux pas. Things I would never wear today. Big chunky loops. This purple fairy ring which I once thought was very cute. Titanium dolphin earrings. This green rock like ring. Strange how our tastes change when we grow older. These days, I've one pair of diamond earrings, a pair of Japanese earrings and one diamond ring. And that's about all the accessories I wear.

6) Neoprints!! Geez. I have neoprints from like Secondary 3! Way back in 1995. Taken with my 2 best friends then. The Soong sisters we called ourselves. I think I was the one who loved money. A neoprint taken with my lawschool dipsing (people who read law overseas) friends. Neoprints taken in taiwan with my dear friend Ruth and this model/artiste named Engra. I don't even like photos. But I quite like these neoprints. I remember the taiwan neoprint machine had this airbrush function, where it can remove all your zits and make your skin fairer than it really is. I suppose now Singapore has these machines too.

7) Heaps and heaps of stuff toys. Geez. I cannot imagine anyone thinking that I'd like soft toys!! There were these forever friends bears (the rage then) that spelt my name: E-V-A-N only. Not my full name otherwise my friend would have gone quite broke. This sasha bear which I distinctly remember sleeping with for a period of time. But I cannot for the life of me remember who gave it to me. It's called long john sleepyhead bear. I kinda liked that bear. Of all the toys, I only kept one, this green tortoise with eyes rolling and a tuft of hair on the forehead. Most cute. I've kept that.

8) This ginormous patchwork of winnie the pooh which I painstakingly 'stitched'. I cannot remember what this type of patchwork is called. But I think it took me close to 48 hours to finish the piece of work. And it has been rotting in my cupboard for the past 5-6 years? I'm not even very sure why I did it or who it's for. One conclusion: I used to have alot of time!

9) Stacks and stacks of CDs! From Belinda Carlisle to Megahit to Abba to Bee Gees to Sandy Lam to Wang Jie to Michael Jackson to The Carpenters. Very mainstream taste I think. But where did I find the money as a student to buy all these CDs??

10) Books! Ok this is quite astounding. I cannot believe I've so many books in my cupboard. I believe I've more than a 100 story books. Fiction. And these are books that I bought. Probably from my trips to London where I'm a sucker for those Waterstone/Borders 3 books for the price of 2 deals. I remember lugging 20 books back each time. I'd spend all my pounds on books. The secret is: I've not read them all. Those I've not read they probably have very nice covers but not very good content. Haha.

So there you have it! The stuff previously in my room. Most of which I've since disposed or dispensed with. But that's my life for the past 5 years or so.

I think the one conclusion that I can draw is that I've had a very eventful, fruitful life. With little regrets but heaps of beautiful memories.

Last night I was feeling a little depressed because my life used to be so much more fun and fulfilling than today. Or so I think.

But perhaps a better way of looking at it is to forget what is behind and pressing on towards what is ahead. To create more beautiful memories which I can cling on to and relish the next time I pack my room. 5 years later that is.

I Have a Confession to Make

So. My confession is this: ihaveacrushonjonathanleong. WHO??? JONATHAN LEONG!!! the stick thin singapore idol contestant with the floppy hair and deep mellow voice.

I know any self-respecting 26 year old female lawyer should never watch programmes like singapore idol. Let alone develop a liking for one of the contestants who's 2 years younger than her, who's still in school studying political science and has several earholes on his left year.

BUT he's really very adorable!

He kinda reminds me of Sylvester from last year (whom I spent about $6 voting for) except that for Jonathan (yes we're on a first name basis), I can totally imagine having a perfectly decent, relatively intellectual conversation with him.

Pardon me for a few minutes and let me gush. Jonathan looks like he doesn't talk very much but when he does in his oh so deep and mellow voice he's actually funny! He professes to be a geek in rocker clothes. So unpretentious. So endearing. He likes to read, collect comics and watch movies over and over again. (Ok so I cling onto every word he says.) So down-to-earth. So real. My perfect cup of tea.

Apparently, he was my friend's brother's classmate... hmmm.... (Mind thinks: It's just an introduction. The rest is up to you. Remember that ad??)

Just a while ago, I was gushing to God about Jonathan. (Yeah, cos I've a severe lack of human friends.) And I think God must have been amused by my excitement.

I'm going to start voting to keep jonathan in the competition. Yes I know. It's almost embarrassing to make such a proclaimation. But c'mon, he's really good.

Would you please vote for Jonathan?

A Tinge of Nostalgia

Opening my eyes
It's a brand new dawn
I curl a little
At the coming of morn

I get out of bed
And grab my favourite bag
Do you get up as early as me?
Or do u like to lag?

Listening to my mom
And paying due care
I get the quick feeling
That you're somewhere out there

Typing a quick sms
I'm caught in a dream
Wouldn't it be lovely
If you also loved green?

I head to the gym
And focus on burning the fat
Which should have been gone
On the day we met

Gathering my files
And clearing my messy desk
Is your day as hectic as mine?
Or do you get a lot more rest?

Sitting in front of my laptop
And typing away
It'd be nice to hear your voice
Every morning and every day

In a meeting with clients
Discussing their case
Thinking of the things I'd do
Just to watch you stand amazed

It's time to go home now
I get into my car
I turn the cd to this song
Diana Krall's just the way you are

Walking on the sidewalk
Wishing on a star
I long for the time
Where I'll know where you are

I used to write heaps of things like this
I'd pen these whimsical thoughts with relative ease
When I was younger and had less heart to lose
To bring a smile or a more than friendly tease
I would love to feel with abandon
But now there's a lot more at stake
Stupid things like pride and fear
Of making another stupid mistake
It'd be nice to be young again
Before I knew of this thing called heart pain

Give Thanks in All Circumstances

I thank God for each time I have to miss church because of work
For then I do not take entering the House of the Lord for granted.

I thank God for each time I've to work till the wee hours of the night
For then I get to taste of His power in multiplying my rest.

I thank God for each time I get home safe from after working till the wee hours of the night
For then I taste of His protection.

I thank God for every time I've to leave work early
For then I learn to fear God and not man.

I thank God for the many times I know not how to do my work
For then I know that His grace is sufficient for me.

I thank God for the times I make horrendous mistakes at work
For then I know that divine favour transcends human ability.

I thank God for difficult bosses and colleagues whom I work with
For then I learn the true meaning of submission.

I thank God for unloveable people in the office
For then I learn to have a heart of compassion.

I thank God for the chance to work with perfectionists
For then I learn to replace mediocrity with the spirit of excellence.

I thank God for getting into the office at 8 when work starts at 9
For then I get a chance to prayer walk the office in peace and quiet.

I thank God for the days on end that I do not get to see the sun
For nowadays I actually marvel at the shape of clouds.

I thank God that no matter how bad I think things are
His command is still very possible to fulfil.