In Search of the Levitical Joke

Whoever thinks the Bible is boring does not know what he's talking about.


Psalms 18:29 (NLT)
"With my God I can scale any wall"

So, King David wanted to be spiderman? Or did Peter Parker wanna be a Bible character?

Jonah 2:5 (NLT)
"I sank beneath the waves, and death was very near. The waters closed in around me, and seaweed wrapped itself around my head."

Just visualize it. Yes, Jonah the original seaweed turban-man.

Ruth 2:15-16 (NLT)
"When Ruth went back to work again, Boaz ordered his young men, Let her gather grain right among the sheaves without stopping her. And pull out some heads of barley from the bundles and drop them on purpose for her. Let her pick them up, and don't give her a hard time!"

Why not just drop the heads of barley right into Ruth's basket?

(And this is my favourite...)

Esther 2:3, 12(NLT)
"Let the king appoint agents in each province to bring these beautiful young women into the royal harem at Susa. Hegai, the eunuch in charge, will see that they are all given beauty treatments... Before each young woman was taken to the king's bed, she was given the prescribed twelve months of beauty treatments - six months with oil of myrrh, followed by six months with special perfumes and ointments."

Spa is biblical!

The bible is funnier than you think, eh?